Stop worrying about what others are thinking about you!
It still amazes me how people are still so concerned about what others think of them. Maybe it’s being in my 40’s that has allowed me less fu*ks to give about what others think, who knows!
Many beat themselves up over things they may have said in their morning meeting in work, over something they wore to a gathering (the chance would be a fine thing at the moment!), or pictures they may have posted on their social media pages. Worrying about what others think of them. This leads to people judging themselves very hard, making themselves feel uncomfortable in their own skin and feeling sorry for themselves. This I often notice leads to people feeling anxious, not worthy, not likeable enough and in general not good enough.
I was having a conversation with a friend recently who was asking me why I don’t and have never really worried that much about people’s opinions of me. I feel it was probably something my Dad, a psychologist once said to me when I was telling him (at 15) that I was worried about what others were thinking about me. He simply said that I was in for a land when I realised how little people were actually thinking about me. We are mostly more concerned about ourselves more than others. My friend laughed and figured it made sense! We continued our conversation and my friend stated that ‘others people’s opinions are none of our business’. Their opinions she continued have nothing to do with us and could be down to them – their judgements, their past, their likes and dislikes and what they expect from life and people. We are never going to be everybody’s cup of tea and we need to understand that. Some people will remember us for years for something we have done, good or bad, others may not even notice us. We like and dislike people for our own reasons and that is our own business. We may not like a man because he reminds us of an old school teacher we once had who gave us detention every week and we may like a lady in our town as she reminds us of a caring grandmother. So no matter what we do some people may never like us – and it is nothing to do with me and none of my business.
So how do we try and do this you might ask?
- Know your own values – basically know what is important to you!
- Know to stay in your own business – we often get caught up in others peoples business. Remember the only person in life you can control is you. We often blame others for how we feel. What you think and what you do are the only things you can control in life.
- Know that you have full ownership over how you feel when you give this to others –you give up control over your emotions. The only person you can really hurt your feelings is you! Our thoughts are often automatic and sometimes we need to challenge them. This often involves a bit of work…take a thought and see if it is fact of fiction. If it is fiction it needs to go! Bye Bye Felicia! Once you do challenge a thought, question it or accept it – your emotions will follow.
- Know that you are doing your best – most things we do have a positive intent, it might not be obvious but it is there.
- Know that everyone makes mistakes – the most productive thing you can do with a mistake is learn from it!
If you can stop worrying about what others think – it can be life changing!
